The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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