and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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