i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
