Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
