If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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