I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
