i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
