You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
