New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
