That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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