I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
