im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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