lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
