So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
