I'm drive I can fine osifer
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
