seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
