I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
