i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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