So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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