Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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