and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
