Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I could have mohawked her pubes.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
