I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
