Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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