Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
