im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
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