It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
