marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
