physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
