He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
