yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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