I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
