I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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