im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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