I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
