No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
