Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
