you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
