I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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