The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
