I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am never drinking with the goths again.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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