Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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