just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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