quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize