Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize