I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize