I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
