It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
