Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
