i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
