Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im holly from the hills drunk
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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