she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
