never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
