Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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