Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize