Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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