Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.

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(425): View more from Washington

Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

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(480): View more from Arizona

gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad

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(785): View more from Kansas

Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick

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