I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
