i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
