He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Semen is not good for contacts.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
