Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
FUCK WHALES
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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