Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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