I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
