I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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