in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
