I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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