just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
