I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
