just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize